Wedding and Marriage

My thoughts on Marriage.
Marriage:   A   Solution?
By the grace of God, We are entering the fifth Anniversary day of our wedding day soon. As everybody think of the wedding day, it is a dream day of which we day dream a lot.Our idealistic dreams and visions and the down to earth experience of a marriage can teach us a number of lessons. Is marriage a solution to anything?, definitely not for any of  your problems in life. Yet it is a right solution for a lonely human to get into life with a companion.What is the mindset needed for any bride or bridegroom before entering in this great union for life? Here is the reality check.




The Basics:
These are the times where woman shines almost on every field and most grooms expects their partners to be working. But basics is always needed. It is better to learn cooking before entering the marriage. Men need to develop the an attitude of taking responsibilities( helping their partners, with no ego) before entering this commitment. 
Practical /Romantic
Be practical and  know that you are taking up responsibilities and responsibilities mean work, accepting inconveniences . Prepare and set your mind to expect emotional challenges as you are entering a new world of another person. You might think this is totally unromantic. Marriage is certainly not unromantic, but the huge part of it is not that as it is shown in the movies."Marriage is hard work"  as my dear husband says. Everyday you put some extra work to make the other feel special, every day you go a little extra mile of your comfort zone to improve the great relationship. Little adjustments makes life beautiful. 
How real are we?
No matter how much understanding you have about marriage you can not expect the same from your partner, as he or she might have different understanding of it. What if you get your ideas from life stories and your partner from fantacy books? Those who get ideas from Fantacy book will be charming and can be crushed with the real life. Even if you get ideas from life stories it is not easy to apply when it comes to apply it in your love story.Changes in the mindset about things can never happen overnight.
The other side of the coin
Times will be there where you have to do sacrifice from one side alone, as love does not work alone on just or equal share of everything. Relationship takes time.Endurance  is another virtue to be developed for the sake of love. Making our point clear, justifying it and doing things on our way can not be a healthy way in a marriage. It will lead to endless arguments and tears. Recently I read about a personality type from the Psychological study called Myers Briggs 16 personalities. The type's name is Debater, When you fortunately or unfortunately ended up with that personality type for life. You will be having a hard time having smooth conversations as these type will take conversations as a challenge and tries to overpower it.The argument more than being meaningful will amuse them to argue more.Marriage relationship matures by time, grow by time, Patience is the key to make it work.
Does that mean that a healthy marriage doesn't have any arguments? No. It is very normal to have arguments so that one can know the point of view of the other person. Often times it is not for what we argue but how we put forth our opinions matters.
Is it worth?
Basically it is about two different individuals mostly with two different personalities making commitments to face life together.As everybody knows the basic different personalities are Introvert, Extrovert andAmbivert. For example studies say among the sixteen different personalities of Myers Briggs INFJ  personality will go well with ENFP, still any two individual with  maturity and commitment can do marriage well. Expect challenges, Expect changes, Expect surprises, Expect arguments, Expect a world of  differences in the other person which can never be revealed at first look.Yet all the struggle worth the love that you will grow for each other. It worth every single day to wake up near someone who loves you truly. It worth all the joyful journeys you will make in future. It worth all the sensitive emotional support you are going to show for each other. 

Make commitments before GOD and Elders and stick together, make it work